Sometimes i do, sometimes i don't.

I never thought i would say this, but i love my life in America today. 6 months ago, i didn't exactly feel this way. Don't get me wrong, i love my husband, my girls and i would never imagine my life without them. Yet, i always felt there was more for us to do, yet i didn't feel it was here in this country. But the giver of life works in mysterious ways. His word and his comfort comes to me this day like a warm blanket filled with the smell of hot chocolate and surrounded by evening fire.....almost like a heavenly feel to it (never been to heaven tho). I feel content, satisfied, fully secured into the life that God has bestowed on me. I love my time now, my friends, my church and the promises of tomorrow.

I am stronger than i was yesterday, and I am willing to go an extra mile to foster this feeling.

How long will this feeling last?

Help me maintain what i feel today and clothe me in your righteousness.

A gift for Kenya's Young Marginalized men.

Below is an inspiring story of one great Christian organization working with former violent young men marginalized and used by powerful politicians to terrorize Kenyans. God is good, and we hope many more men's lives are changed.


Kenya: From violence to a peace culture

A project in western Kenya, supported by Diakonia, has helped young people out of a life of violence and criminality and into education and licit livelihoods. The formerly feared young men are now also involved in society through work on conflict solution and environmental protection.
Strategies and working methods

In Kenya, Diakonia focuses on supporting peace and the still “young” democracy, with an emphasis on human rights and equality. Kenya’s population is also young: three quarters are under 30 years old. Despite this fact, young people and the issues that concern them have been neglected in the political arena. Poverty, unemployment and injustice hit the young disproportionately hard.

In 2002, two of Diakonia’s partners started working with young people as part of a project to promote peaceful choices. The town of Kisumu on the shores of Lake Victoria used to be ruled by a group of young men who carried out violence on behalf of politicians. The young people felt that they were oppressed by the Kenyan government in the same way that the Iraqis suffered under the US-led forces in Iraq, and therefore took the name Baghdad Boys. The group became widely known and feared, and was employed by politicians across Kenya who wanted to harass and threaten their opponents.

The project in Kisumu focused on giving the young men vocational training and a path towards a licit livelihood. They also received training in peaceful conflict management. Throughout the process, Diakonia has provided the partner organisations running the project with resources and expertise in support of their
Concrete results

Now, the Baghdad Boys call themselves “Baghdad for Peace”, shortened to Bafope. The young people who have taken part in the project have radically changed their behaviour in terms of violence and drugs. “A culture of peace is gradually replacing the culture of violence and hooliganism,” says one of them, Maurice Masese.

Bafope’s story has inspired other militia groups, who have become involved in the project. Previously marginalised young men have found a way back into society. Via cleanup projects in the town organised by Bafope, several young people have been employed in local environmental protection work. Others provide a livelihood for themselves by working in a waste management company that they set up.

Kenyan Young Men

Abilities are created through provision of enabling environments for people to find and create options for survival.

Kenyan young men ages 18-35 should be a priority.

They should be given the opportunity to be educated, trained, guided and strategically placed to ensure that their generation does not fall to kidnappings, car-jackings, abductions, direct assaults and attacks, cattle rustling, robbery, burglary, rapes, extrajudicial killings and other forms of insecurity that has now engulfed the country.

My friends and the Seasons

Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm dealing with...and no, it's not the demons from hell, it's pure humanistic agony of embracing what's right, wrong, what feels good, what's beneficial and what's good for me and my family. It's very easy for me to beat myself up for nothing. It used to be that i really cared what people thought about what i did, said or wore. I found out it's useless, time wasting and pure agony if i cared too much Thus my free speech, free act and free mind and will as i do what i think it right, good, valuable, sensible and beneficial in a godly way to me and my family.

I think of all my great friends that I've had over the years, some have stayed and others have moved on. It's been hard to lose some of those, as the seasons come and go, and we all go separate ways and pursue various ambitions. I'm in a stage in my life right now, as I watch different things happen to different ones in my life. Some have ambitions that are beyond their abilities, but I'm on to encourage and say keep going. Others have endeavors that are not necessarily godly, but with good feel to it, and sometimes its hard to caution or mention something, as i would fear hurting them or discouraging them. Others have dreams, desires, hopes and aspirations. I've watched them get hurt, misled, confused, heartbroken and waiting on empty promises, but i can only reach out a hand and say a prayer that the Almighty would strengthen them and guide their steps into another line of victory.

There are also those who were special to me at one time. They will always be. I love them and I had a great time, learning from them, laughing and crying with them and all i can say is that time goes by, we move to different ends of the earth, we change our perceptions, our views are different, we get married in different countries or states, and when we have kids, life becomes even busier and we spend less and less time together. It's hard to understand that stuff like that happens, but it does, and we just have to move on. Some people are in our lives for just some seasons and God will bring along others as seasons go.

From where i stand, i have loved and i will continue to love all my friends, will honor the days that God brought us together and I'll be forever grateful that we shared so much. Nevertheless, tomorrow is always brighter, especially in the hand of it's maker, and I'm only looking forward to all that God will bring my way including all the special beings that i will call my friends.

To all my friends far and wide, though we don't see eye to eye, i love you and God's speed.

How I have Learnt to Listen

Listening to my heart is something i do often. I also listen to my mind sometimes, but it's kinda crazy, coz i might just hear the wrong thing. Quite a few times i have to re-route my thinking to my heart, where i'll have a conversation with myself, God and my husband before jumping into some crazy joy. Sometimes i just wanna do it...like jump up and skydive, or bungee jump or go riding a wild horse or something like walk on fire. See, that's kinda crazy. Funny thing is, i know it's dangerous to just do stuff without thinking. I've always been that kind of a person, ready to go, fly outta there, drive across the country, move on and celebrate life. I once drove to Reno @ 1am and arrived by 4am, gambled, had buffet breakfast and drove right back. But thank God for my husband who has calmed me down, taught me how to pay attention to detail, read the instructions, plan the trip (not just throw in stuff together and out the door!). I have learned how to take time to speak, to respond and have fun as i move gracefully with life. My kids have basically stopped me!. I have learned how to listen to God too.

Problem is, sometimes i have great ideas that are not necessarily God's, and when i confuse myself, and get tangled in with my ideas, all hell breaks loose and i can't tell coffee from tea. I blame the Bible, the Word, God and all the good things about Him. Then i remember again...aha! He listens if i talk to Him. Then i call on Him again, and He listens. When i know God is listening, i calm down and learn how to hold a conversation, how to listen, how to praise, how to thank and honor Him with all that i have. Sometimes it's scary because i may think that He talked, and he actually didn't, and then i get all mad, and angry at God and ask Him why he's not doing what He said He'ld do. Well, he asks...'when did i have that conversation with you", I don't remember'. Then i cry, get mad and still love Him more the following day.