Dead Aid

This is the Title of a much sort after book authored by Dambisa Moyo - a Zambian academic who has a PhD in Economics, studied at Harvard and Oxford. She also has work experience from The World Bank as well as Goldman Sachs.

The book's sub-title tells "How and Why Aid is not working and how there is another way for Africa".

This I would love to read. May be hearing it from an African Expert's point of view is different. As we all know, there are way too few experts from the continent about the continent. There are always Western Experts who know Africa best.

Is that why the Aid is dead?

By the way, there is more to Africa than seen on TV.

There is more to Africa than disease, poverty, wars, flies in the nose and mouth.

There is actually more than you would ever think.

Yes, there are poor people, those who live in less than $3 or may be 1 dollar a day and those who don't have money to see a doctor. They are those who walk without shoes, live in mud huts and probably have one meal a day. God bless them and take care of them. There are also those who walk long distances to go places, with dusty feet and really tired faces. That's the picture everyone knows of Africa, plus of course the animals. By the way, these folks have cell phones too :)

What you would never see on TV are:

Africans who are billionaires, millionaires, the wealthy 1%, upper class, middle upper class, middle class, lower middle class and all the rest of them.

Having been born and raised up there, I may have a better perspective than western experts, news reporters and writers.

What you never see on TV are hard working, educated or progressively educated law abiding citizens who pay their dues. They live in moderate or upscale neighborhood suburbs. They drive their benzes, Hondas and Toyotas, take their kids to school (not really, most have chauffeurs,) go on vacations to Italy. Seychelles, Paris and the Caribbean. They also speak English, French, Portuguese or other languages within.

Most are not interested in coming to America or Europe because they have established and quality lifestyles than their American counterparts. You would never hear about these kind of Africans on TV. Really sad.

Then there are those who are successful farmers with tons of acres of food, livestock and all. They have state of the art farming machinery and equipment. They grow flowers, mangoes, pineapples, paw paws, oranges, all sorts of fruits and vegetables. They export them to Europe....why not America? good question?

These farmers use their revenues to educate their children, their neighbors and employ tons of people. Their communities are thriving and cities are filled with life, people, shops and fun. Do you ever see that Africa on TV? No. Really really sad. Why aren't their stories told?

Then there those who are juggling school, jobs, families and other responsibilities, just like your regular neighbor. They attend local colleges, work at night or day, pick up kids from school (they may not have lot to pay or a driver), rush home to make dinner ( again, may not have enough to pay a housekeeper), and do homework, tuck in kids to bed, watch some TV, and go to bed waiting for another day to start. Does that sound like you? But you never see this on TV.

Then there are the young folks, the teens, the twenty somethings who feel like they own the world. They like to talk, experience new things, read the news, go to school, text on their blackberry, and dance to the tunes on their ipods. They want to be doctors, lawyers, astronauts, preachers, human rights activists, presidents, CEO's and investors. They have hopes, they talk about life, they drive to school, they take public transport, they party all night, others like to drink, the grounded ones are aspiring men and women of God. They are young, hip, ambitious, smart, sharply dressed, hippie dressed, sagging pants, tight pants, and resemble any other young person who could be your neighbor, friend or associate. You never see these African on TV, do you? Why aren't their stories told?

Well, there are tons of other Africans whose stories you would never know unless you went to Africa.

If all you ever saw on TV about Africa was poverty, disease, hot sun, flies and animals, - then you must really be sad and really worried and terrified of Africa.

For me, it hurts to see see my home demeaned, brought down, destroyed, burnt and its reputation tarnished continuously. Would you not feel the same?

Let's keep Africa balanced. It helps in the geography and history class your child is attending.

It also helps the Africans feel good about themselves, work hard and believe that their continent is able to sustain itself without interference, judgment, hate and condemnation.

While dropping off my daughter at school today, i saw this bumper sticker on a minivan:

"How can we be free if others are oppressed"?

and i thought whoa! Good morning! welcome to reality. That hit me like there is no tomorrow. Well, nothing new to me, but i wasn't ready to be greeted with such reality so early!

so, with my untamed curiosity, i sprang my neck to see what kind of people were in the car. ha! it made sense right away, they were a family from oversees! and from looking at their apparel, i immediately knew they somehow related to the bumper sticker.(well, the news i watch and read, plus their told stories confirm my judgment). I guess having such a sticker on their car makes them feel better. They probably feel liberated. I know the feeling. Only in my case i don't have car bumper stickers.

Instead I have them in me, my veins, my blood, in my heart and in my mind. I seem to always wonder and cry out for those that are invisible to the rest of the world. Those who are held down by poverty, oppression, disease, illiteracy, sin, and those who just don't have the means to help themselves or their children. I think about the boys and girls who don't have books to read, story books to share. I think about the girls who don't have a daddy to hold them and protect them from mean boys and beastly men. I think about the boys who are forced to grow up fast, take care of their siblings at age 7. That really breaks my heart.

Though I may not be an expert in anything, a known human rights activist or a rich woman with a lot of money to pay for the needs of the world, i dream really big. I think about these children and their situations all the time. I somehow obsess over it and it becomes a problem when i concentrate too much on what should be done, how it should be done, and who should do it. It doesn't help that I'm also a wife and a mom and my husband and my kids need me more than anything else.

It doesn't help much either that I'm also from oversees. Seems like there is a tendency to notice more or get caught up in trying to help others....may be I'm wrong and it's just me. May be i should blame America for opening my eyes?...i don't know. The media hasn't helped much either(a story for another day!)

But being here in this amazing country, which has more than it's people need, i can't help but think of those who would benefit from all the wasted food. All the left overs from our fridges. All the good-will clothes and all the tossed cell phones and toys that we clean out every spring.

I can hardly wait to see the smile on their faces, the joy that comes from receiving a new dress. The libraries that each little community could benefit from. The ability to read and study and go to college. The farms that could be filled with plenty if only these families had enough to eat to get strength to cultivate. The water wells and boreholes that would help moisture the environment, provide water for the animals and people, so kids don't have to travel miles to fetch water.

I dream of an Africa, Asia, Middle East, America and Latin America that could sustain itself. I dream of when these countries would get rid of all debts owed to others. I dream of when little boys and girls would move out and about without fear of bombs. I dream of when little girls can walk to school unescorted due to fear of rape. I pray for the day that black girls in America don't have to bleach their faces, burn their hairs to look acceptable to their white counterparts. I pray for the day when families would not have to sleep in the streets, eating from the dump because the governments can't help them.

I thank God for my life, my family, my friends, my ability to read, ability to do things in life and the ability to see, understand and desire to help others have a better lifestyle. I'm thankful even for those things i know i could do, but not right now.

In the meantime, I keep praying, i keep dreaming, i keep hoping and waiting for the day.

Opinions, views, perspectives, expressions and thoughts are what the human race thrives on. I know that's what keeps me up at night. The Bible helps make it clear though.

Almost all entries in this blog are born out of my opinions. The others either have quotes from sources, are reported news or Bible verses.

Are all of these good ideas?, God ideas, or pure human opinions that may annoy others? That i may not have an answer for, but i hope to never dismantle but encourage. I hope to never discourage but encourage. I hope to never undermine, but assure. I hope to never pull down but lift up and i hope to never tear but build.

What is in my heart is what i love to talk about, what i love to read, what i love to see happen and what i hope and pray for. My heart is full of what i dream of and what i aspire for. It's full of what i love to see and what i love to develop in.

My heart is working on serving, loving, building, encouraging, feeding, giving and reaching out to others.

My heart is looking towards laughter, togetherness, joy and eating with people, family and friends. It doesn't matter who. I will meet you, i will talk to you, get used to you and invite you over for dinner, lunch, brunch whatever. That's who I am.

I love people, i like people and i can't do without relationships. I can't survive without others around me. I have tried, but i can't. I try to ignore people but i can't. I get misunderstood, people i know avoid me for fear of being invited for a get together. whoa! I'm learning to live with that. I'm working on it, I know people are busy and they have lives.

I love to cook for anyone who loves to eat. I love to talk and hear other people's stories. That's how i learn. That's how i grow. I love to spend time with influential people, people who are experienced with life, people who make things happen, people who have ambitions, passions and goals in life. I love to hear their stories and i love to pick on things, learning and practicing.

My heart yearns for more. I want to learn and grow. I want to touch lives and i want to see people's lives changed.

My heart is exploding with desire to hear, learn, grow, achieve, overcome, conquer and stay guarded.

Though testing comes, though the raging seas are coming and the storm is rushing, I will not let out. I will stand like Daniel. I will believe in God. I will trust in Him alone and the lions and fire set against me will not prevail.

But Daniel!

Well, it's quite idiotic to live under the illusion that the world could be a perfect, peaceful and harmonious place with everyone being polite, forgiving, understanding, serving, loving,devoted and very helpful to each other. I am talking real peace and chaos free world, where even color and social status are irrelevant. right?

Funny thing is, that was exactly how it was meant to be....

until the guy in the garden and his wife decided knowing too much was better than obedience!! and look what it cost them: a pure, close and tight relationship with their Father, The Maker and giver of life.

They lost the trust, the friendship, the relationship and what ended up happening was that someone had to pay the price to restore the lost trust. Someone had to sacrifice his life for that relationship to work. Jesus is His name, and the rest is the best history ever told.(please see a real Bible near you)

A question I'm asking myself right now is:
What will I have to sacrifice today to get closer to that wonderful place, where I have always wanted?
What would I leave behind to achieve that goal of seeing with the eyes of the Father, where loving, serving, giving, forgiving and sharing are the daily works?

What I'm I carrying in my heart that needs to be checked out, taken out, stepped on, crushed and thrown outside? Things like hatred, pride, envy, false accusations, malice and slander?

More importantly, what I'm I holding onto that's lagging me behind, sucking life out of me and keeps leaving me stranded and completely wasted? Things like old boyfriends, words used against me, money, comparing myself with others, not loving myself enough, listening to old bad music, living with people I'm not supposed to be living with, eating things that are not good for me, watching things and reading things that are not helping, edifying and helping in my growth and development, plus all others.

I am learning that:
Laying it down, letting it go, and handing it over to the Father seems like the best thing to do. You know He's the maker of life, right? the giver of breath, the founder of romance and the genius behind our very existence, not to mention the maker of the rain (not the fake one). Those are pretty darn good qualifications to have, and I think I would think twice if i had to allow anyone else to handle my life.

I am letting it go. I am laying it down. I am handing it over. He will take care of it. I have put my Trust in Him and boy! do I Love Him.
The relationship between my God, the Father is the key to all of the other things.

All the things I have ever wanted, all the things I have ever wished for. Even wanting to be like Jesus!

'Seek Ye first the Kingdom Of God and His righteousness, and ALL these things will be added unto you" Matthew 6: 33

My 33 years I'm leaning..

I'm in a place where my 33 years on earth are beginning to sound like 3. My youngest daughter keeps saying, 'I'm 3 just like my mommy'. I smile, look at her and with all great intentions, I reply, ..no sweetie, I am 33 and you are missing a whole lotta years. thirty years! That means I'm 30 years older than you, we are not the same age'.

Of course, she doesn't get it now, but one day she will. IN the meantime...

it downed on me that our nature as human beings, we like to omit things out. We are fond of not fully coming out to express who we are, what we are about and where we are headed. Is it fear? Is it keeping our privacy? Is it fearing judgment from others? Is it rebellion when we chose not to learn, when we ignore the training part of anything, when we push aside common ground or when we chose to honor those we shouldn't? How about when we do not appreciate others, support them and encourage them for their own good? How about when we purposely do wrong, or consciously sabotage another, or hide the truth?

Do human beings naturally harbor fear, insanity, insecurity, accusations, false stories, misconception and ignorance?

Worst part is when we do it to ourselves. We forget that unless we are honest with our selves, unless we appreciate ourselves, unless we love ourselves and really get in tune with who we are, and who God is in our lives, we'll never get satisfied. Instead of simply putting our trust in God, completely surrendering all to Him, We'll always be trying to find consolation from other things like, magazines, TV shows, fortune tellers and others who have no idea. And when we don't get the answers we are looking for, we start to compare ourselves, questioning our worth, being angry at God and falling victim to anger and isolation.

All because we ignored to fully come out as who we are and what we are really about, and what we want. We are made in the image of God, We are His people and our desire should be to love others and honor others without expecting anything in return.

This will eradicate fear, insecurities, accusations, misconceptions and most of all ignorance.

It is well worth it. Don't you think?

The Love

We are not to despise them or hate them.
We are not to accuse them or point fingers at them
We are not to judge them or shun them out
We are not to back bite them or wish them bad

We are to love them and trust in God that His Love would embrace us as we attempt to Love those ones. Those ones who don't like us, the ones who spit on us while we are not looking. The ones who would rather see us wither and melt before their very own eyes. Those ones who wish we were never around.

We are to reach out and love them, regardless. We are to reach out and offer them something to eat, a drink of water and a hand. No matter how hard it may seem, God's love in us is bigger than we'll ever know. So big! Really.

We are to ask of the Father's strength to face this day. Ask of the Father's grace to face yet another month. Ask of the Father's Love to en-clothe us, to embrace us and to cover us through it all.

This Love will hinder us from hating them, throwing rocks at them, and wishing they would burn in hell.

This Love is bigger than all the hateful remarks, all the explicit names, all the name calling that comes from them.

This Love is bigger than the sleeplessness nights they cause, the goose bumps they cause to arise on our arms and those of our loved ones.

This Love is bigger than their hate and bigger than anything planned or set against us. It is the Love that is unconditional.

The Love that sees through color, the Love that sees through socio-economic status. The Love that sees through our physical features, the Love that sees through our status.

It is The Love of God. The Love that extends to the mountains and valleys. To other nations and all the people we don't know.

It is also the The Love that is upon the United States President. The Love that is upon his wife and his children. Everyday as he steps out, may the Love of God be upon him. May he learn to trust in God fully. For it is in that place that he will have the courage to be stronger, happier and even more ready to hold the highest office. They can hurt him with words, they can call him names, they can accuse him and portray him as the enemy. But the Love of God stands strong.

That kind of Love will never be moved, changed or replaced. It is there to stay forever and ever no matter what.

But His LOVE.

Well, i managed to do a few things this weekend:

Hike into the lakes (gotta love that)
Read The Shack (everyone human being who walks on the face of the earth must read)
Missed church (not recommended)
Told my mom-in-law that i loved her (doesn't happen very often)

While hiking I found out that the earth and nature and all the beautiful things were created for us to enjoy and inhabit as we take care of it. Many a times, a lot of us ignore that factor and completely disregard God's intentions.

While reading The Shack, i realized that all my perceptions of God the Father, Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit were wrong. I have never felt so torn and broken. The Lord is full of mercy, grace and forgiveness. He is still mending me.

While missing church i thought about all our friends, the pastors and those that i see on Sundays, and one question came to mind: Do i go to church because of them?

While hugging my mom-in-law, I realized that I didn't have to pretend anymore. I realized that i didn't expect anything from her in return and that loving her for who she is, is demonstrating an unconditional love. A Jesus kind of love. A real, open and without reward kind of love.

It downed on me that my life, my worries, my successes, my failures and my hopes are not in my hands. Though i have eyes to see and ears to hear. Though i have hands to touch and a nose to smell, I could not possibly understand what the King of Kings has in store for me. I just have to trust in Him. Love Him without expecting anything from Him.

There is a lesson to be learned in all our doing.

Be a positive lesson. You never know who is learning.

How is it That You Haven't Quit by Now?

It is so hard not to notice her demeanor. Her walk and her smile. Her elegant choice of wardrobe does not go unnoticed. Literally.

With her stride, her head help up high and strong shoulders that portray confidence, she faces each day just like the rest of us. Only her days are really nothing near what our days are like. Really.

She is one in a million. A woman who, even though I haven't met, has demonstrated intelligence, smart reasoning and a go-getter attitude that has truly paid off. Very much so.

Her's is a life of mystery. A life lived in a private, yet very public lifestyle. She is a woman who is strong, not only for herself and her children, but strong for her man too. While others hold her husband down, she lifts him up. When others mock him, she stands strong, by him, and for him. When duty calls and her husband makes a move towards the line of fire, towards the bomb awaiting to explode and towards the enemy, she's not moved, at least not in public. She uses her eyes and her smile to communicate with him. She winks and smiles to encourage him and support him and tell him how much she loves and believes in him. She doesn't flinch with fear as her husband is heckled, spat on or rebuked. At least not in public view, and she doesn't display any aggressive response, even while she has a reason to, which in my watch, would be just about any day of her life. How does she do that?

One day I will ask her. I would love to meet her, and if I do, I would like to hear her story. Surrounding myself with influential people is something I love to do, even for a minute. People who have made a difference, those that make things happen and those who demand excellence are my kind of people. That is the the only way I'd ever be influential myself.

When i meet her, mine will just be one question. Just one. A question I have struggled with for a little over 2 years now. A question that will be the beginning of something new....well, at least for me, that's if she actually gives me an answer, which i pray and hope that she will.

"How is it that you haven't quit this by now?".

Yeah, a simple question, and I will have my pen and paper ready. Whatever her answer will be, it will be enough to write a book on it, a story that I would love my children to read to their children for generations to come. The story will be one of what is it like to be the wife and the woman behind the first Commander In Chief of the United States with a tone other than white. I will have prepared enough note pads and stocked enough pens in my journalism assignment folder just in case.

In that one question, I would love to hear how she manages to let her husband walk out of that door to go walk among people who openly rebuke, mock and abuse him. I would like to know how she lets him out of her arms to go walk on fire, towards bombs ready to explode on him. I would ask how she is able to remain calm as she keeps her children away from the discussions, newspapers and friends from school, who repeat what they heard their parents say last night. I would love to know what she holds on to when she hears that an angry man showed up with a gun somewhere close to her husband's meeting venue. I would love to know how she felt when a pastor from an Arizona Baptist Church prayed for her husband to have cancer, melt like a snail with salt on it and die - Reported on major news network, newspapers and FoxNews too: see the link http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/08/31. I would love to know how at the end of the day she doesn't just tie her husband to herself so he does not have to leave for work the next day.

"How is it that you haven't quit by now?"

She has demonstrated strength where none is likely to be seen.
She has remained calm in public even as her husband walks on fire and towards the the enemy.
She has stood her ground and refused to betray her integrity.
She has maintained her place as a wife, friend and soul-mate.


This one is a woman to learn from and pray for.

Make a choice and move your mountain.

Sure, you've heard it before...a faith that can move mountains.

Mountains for me are high regions where grass, trees, animals and snow reside...hundreds of years old, may be thousands. These mountains stay where they are come rain or sunshine, and the idea of moving one is just not very realistic, well, unless of course there is a movie that dares to make it happen, showing unrealistic themes and stories for make believe. Truth is, in real life, that wouldn't happen now, would it? Of course yes, it could. In fact, it could move really well if you made the right choices. I know I've tried making some choices that went really bad, and i would be like, 'how on earth did i get here'? but with all the faith that's in me, i somehow believe that that the mountain could be anything in my life. A mean teacher, a horrible relationship, a glass-ceiling situation, an abusive father or husband, a really intimidating boss, a real crazy loan officer who won't let you have that money and others who are just plain mean. Through all the bad, it's very easy to to allow unrealistic themes, stories and unrealistic decision making become part of our human nature. It's so bad that we are not able to tell the difference anymore, thus making unrealistic choices.

But not this story. This is real. It is real life, where one has to make a decision that could either break or make the future. Life is full of bad potatoes, rotten peas, expensive and bad quality clothes and dirty water. Sounds horrible? Not really? with all the bad there is, something must be good somewhere, but its not easy to come by unless you make a choice to change something. You alone are left with a decision to make. Will you be like the rotten peas? behave like them? react the same way as the bad quality clothes? Well, then how do you remain sane in the midst of filthy water? how do you come to a place of solace where common sense is lacking, where thinking straight is hard and remaining functional in the midst of the storm seems unrealistic. It can only happen if you make a realistic choice.

The choice to love harder, the choice to embrace more, the choice to accommodate peace, the choice to stop the slander, the choice to stop overeating, the choice to stop rumor-mongering, the choice to stop spending ungodly hours with ungodly people (that's really ungodly!!), the choice to stop blaming others and taking responsibility, the choice to tell the truth, the choice to honor those honor is due, a choice to stop taking credit for someone else success, the choice to listen to your mother if she's right, a choice to take your children to church (never leave your kids at home if you are going to church, no matter how old they are!!)Make that choice to extend a hand to the invisible person. Make a choice to encourage your boss though it's the last thing on your mind. Make a choice to give fully if you can. Make a choice to tithe consistently, it's not about the church or the pastors. It has got nothing to do with them. Make a choice not to rob God, he deserves what's due to him. So many choices to make and somehow somewhere, we aren't able to change. Make a choice to leave that room if you need to, make a choice to tear those magazines if you need to and make a choice to cancel that x-rated channel you've got. I've made choices in my life and I'm still making them one day at a time.

Try and make a choice today. It could move your mountain.

Ignorance as a classroom subject

What if a subject known as Ignorance was actually apart of the school subject schedule? Ok, this is how it would look on the class schedule:
8:30 - English, 9:10 - Social Studies, 10:00 - Ignorance.
This would save us a whole lotta problems i bet!

Ignorance is being ignored, and it's hurting those that we love, those that we know and care about and those that we see from afar...like on the TV. I crack up, really hard, when i hear some reasons given by some ignorant folks. I get really sad and then mad and I'm like, 'how on earth could a fellow human being be so ignorant'?

Turns out it's pretty easy to be ignorant. It starts by switching off common sense, turning away the truth, putting away any common ground and nailing those who oppose you to the cross, and then dragging the cross on hot coals giving excuses. Ignorance is not a joke. It destroys development and growth. It destroys germination of modern formalities like black presidents and free speech, and it's obvious that it could destroy the next generation as parents struggle to keep their kids in school. May be all schools should have a lesson plan that includes:
Introduction to Ignorance 101
Introduction to Ignorance in your neighborhood and more advanced courses should have:
Understanding Ignorance in your Country.

Enough said.

Who are you really married to?

Why is it that we the church goers and those that do not go to church or love God share the same divorce rate? Is there something that we all share and are doing together that we aren't supposed to be doing? I think there is...

We are all married to the idea of being married. Because if we were really married to the men and women in our lives, we would talk to them, solve problems with them, cry with them, laugh with them, hug them, kiss them, cuddle, constructively criticize them, encourage them, guide them, share chores with them, surprise them, and compliment them, not just in private but in public. But most of us either do not have the time, or do not see the need to do this. Everyday that you do not acknowledge your husband or your wife takes away something that can never be replaced, or if it's ever replaced, will not look the same.

Take sometime and let him know that you can both get through it if you gave it one more chance. Take sometime and declare war against every friend, family member and co-worker who is bringing division in your home. Take sometime and lock that door from the inside, talk to your wife, take a hold your husband's hand and look into those eyes. Apologize like you mean it. Compliment those curves and appreciate her. Hand him some clean socks and plant a reassuring pat on his back. He will not forget. Feed him like your own baby...not spoon feed (only works for babies). Appreciate that he comes home straight from work, appreciate that he chooses to spend Saturday night with you, and not with the boys. Acknowledge that she chooses to save the $10 dollars to get your favorite steak.

Remember why you chose him in the first place. Do not forget why she chose you. Do not abandon the wife of your youth. Remember the smile on his face when you told him yes? Work hard to get back there. That first time, when all you could see was him. That first time she touched your arm. Remember those days. Go back there, and start afresh. It is well worth it.

silent killer

I'm done. Finally off of it. wohooooo!
I can't tell you how liberating it is to be free.

This thing had coiled itself around me like a snake, and though i had control over it, it always seemed like i had an obligation to it. It's like a cigarette (never smoked in my life), but i always felt inclined to taste it, look, see, spend time on it. I needed to be on it,to see people, hear what's going on and be all over the place. BUT it started to feel ike a disease, like a total waste of time, I started to get bored. In the mean time, i lost focus on my reading and writing.

See, before the explosion of this beautiful silent killer, I kept an active journal, i had a blog and i read at least 2-3 books. But i can't really say that i read much or wrote enough while i was on facebook. This thing became a silent killer of reality in my life. It is a silent killer of productivity in the work place, a silent killer of marriages and relationships, and definitely a silent killer of time management. Don't get me wrong, i wasn't addicted, i wasn't not having a life, it just silently killed what i loved to do best. Thus my decision to let go. Ha!

Right now I'm thinking about all the people who are wrapped up in it, those who can't breathe without it. Every few minutes, every 2 hours, a few times a day, they go in there, update everyone else on their bad day, hoover on other people's profiles, take quizzes and post them to let the world know how ignorant, worldly, sexy, illiterate they are - and my favorite!! what song of Beyonce they are! c'mon now. I think facebook is semi evil, semi-useful, semi-dangerous, semi-scary, semi-helpful, semi-great. See, thing is, it's all about what you think about it. It's very personal and each individual is entitled to their own opinion. My opinion though is that i can live without it.

It took away so much of who I am. See, there are genuine moments in there, sometimes real stuff is on it, and the people are cool too. In there you find great friends, family, acquaintances, enemies, those who are out to hoover all over your profile, those who snoop and never say anything, and then when you meet them weeks later, they remind you of something you said! That's downright spooky!

Facebook is what you want it to be for you. It's what you make to be in life. As for me, myself and I, facebook was fun, gave me the opportunity to connect with friends old and new and family from far. But I am done for now. I am giving myself a break and I'm sure somehow somewhere i will be okay.

What's my problem then!

Devaluing what i am and who God has called me to be is something i do often. I always tend to think that others are better than I am. I beat myself up for thinking too much. But I'm learning that i don't have to be a bible scholar to pray and believe for someone else healing and deliverance, oh! and mine too. I am also learning that i don't need to be on the pulpit to declare war against the enemy, and I'm also learning that God is not a respecter of persons, and that He finds me worthy and able enough to trust me to spread His word. What's my problem then!

Thing is i have a lot in me that needs to be said. I have a lot in me that needs to be written down. You know how i know that? coz i have tons of written stuff, tons of things in my head, mind and more going through my veins. It's not even funny!! but i know so well that i can't just blurb things out, i can't just speak and tell stories. It needs to be necessary, useful and timely for that time. It just can't be something to make one happy for a second. I need it to be a life changing thing, a situation where perspectives, mindsets and views are changed. Can i do that? I think i can. I'm learning how to one day at a time.