At times i don't see it.

The desire of my heart is to sense, discern, see, hear, and capture what God has ordained for the day, the moment and the environment. My want and my will usually get in my way though, and at times i don't see it, I don't sense and i fail to capture that moment. Scary thing is, it could be when I'm walking down the street, and someone stops right in my track, almost bumping into me and my first instinct is excuse me!! move aside, look him/her up down with a sneer and walk away mad that they got in my way. Was that a test for me? what would Jesus do? brush him aside or notice the need in the man's life? I could also be in line at the store with my full cart of food, and i know very well that most of this food will not last - and the person behind me is a woman with 2 kids, and in their cart is beef jerky, a coke, 3 packets of doritos and 2 for a $1.00 frozen dinners. At this point i clearly feel that one of my food bags should be in their cart, but i dismiss it as....she probably gets the welfare money and buys junk with it...why should i help? May be she couldn't even get welfare!! Yet again, it was a moment to portray Christ's love and i missed it. At times i don't see it.
Another time was at a small neighborhood Starbucks, and i was in line and in came 2 cops and joined in the line. I'm thinking...these guys do such a great job, quick to respond, always helpful and makes environment safe, yet! they also racial profile, discriminate, beat people on cars and stuff like that. So, i let my assumptions get in my way,and instead of encouraging them, supporting them and showing appreciation, i missed out again. At times i just don't see it.

Worst is at church where everyone is supposed to feel loved and wanted and appreciated, right? Yet, i can't deny the existence of clicks, specific groups, a culture that only shares amongst itself. Now, there are those who are not in these clicks, or in the groups, those not popular and definitely need a lift me up. They say...'can't you see me? do i need to dress like you for you to notice me?, I take the bus here, i can't afford a car and goodwill is the best that i can get. 'My hair and nails are not done weekly and this is me as i am. I need you to recognize me, help me understand that it's ok and Jesus loves me the way I am. Please love me as i am. Demonstrate that Christ also loves people like me. As for me, this is where it all stops. I want to sense God more in my environment, I desire for Him to show me the needs, the specifics so that i can help spread his love, demonstrate his love and love those who are invisible. Sometimes I just don't see it. I need more of God.